"The Wonder of it All"

For all three of you who may have actually remembered that I started a blog in January... here's entry #2.  Entry #1 was about forgetfulness.  So... in total transparency I am going to admit that..... I forgot how to get back to my own blog to post another entry!  You are not surprised if you know me at all.  ADD + age+ life= forgetfulness.  So, I confess, and will do my best to remember how to get back here so my posts are more consistent. Oh, and for you OCD friends who are chomping at the bit to tell me how to remember.... I already sent myself an email on how to get back here.  Ha Ha!

Today was a day full of wondering.  Actually, this entire week has been.  This time, the application of the wondering has been of the ":Oh what a wonder this is!"  connotation of the word.  Let me explain.

This week I have been sick with my annual bout of upper respiratory/pharyngitis.  I thought I had escaped it since it was already the end of March, but I was wrong!  What is the wonder in that? When I get sick, my voice is the first to be affected.  That's right... I can't talk. (Let me rephrase... I'm not supposed to talk.) There's the wonder!  So what does one do when the ability to talk is restricted?  Well, after years of experience, I have learned that trying to talk over hoarseness is damaging to the vocal chords.  So..... I have been alone, silent, and able to hear the wonders.

Most of these have not been audible sounds; instead they have been messages from different sources that spoke to me.  Some were texts or posts from friends; others from Scripture, but I am convinced they were sent  for me from my Lord.  He has to get my mouth shut before I can hear!

After a week of being mostly at home by myself, today John and I went to a local event in Brandon.  I still am hoarse, but I had to see some daylight and people!  During our brief outing of maybe an hour, I experienced 3 wonders. 

Wonder # 1- encounter was with a member of our church in Jackson who lives in Clinton but has Brandon ties.  A totally unexpected wonder to see him.  He introduced us to a friend who has written a very readable book that guides "non-techies" through the maze of computer issues.  Having been in a position along my journey to try to teach beginner computer courses, I bought a copy of the book so I can stay functional.

Wonder # 2- I saw a former student from my Brandon Middle School years of subbing.  She is a spectacular young  Christian woman who will graduate in May from MC!  We talked and caught up and I listened (mostly) about her plans after graduation.  She has many possibilities, but she is seeking God's choice.  No surprise to me in that, but a wonder non-the-less. In this "go where the money is" world, she is waiting for God's voice to tell her His plan. 

Wonder #3- After we left the festival and I had a chance to begin to scan my new book,  I saw the name of yet another former student on the acknowledgment page.  Why is this a wonder?  Because I taught this student in Chalmette, LA in 1980-81!  He is friends with the author of the book who is a friend of our church member!  He has lived in the Brandon area for quite some time, but this "co-incidental" connection to our church friend and his friend and me.....

Do you get it... the wonder of little me being connected through all my journeys to people from so many places and time spans, and encountering all of them in one afternoon?  How can I not see this as a wonder?

Here's the point...(I know you were wondering if there would be one!) 

If I had not been "silenced" and sick this week, it is very possible that I would have missed the wonders of today.  During my forced seclusion, I spent much needed time reading and meditating on God's word, focused primarily on the journey to the Cross.  My Lenten Season was interrupted by family crisis, so my readings were delayed.  But I can tell you, they were right on time for me this week. 

This is the greatest wonder of all-- God reaches through time and space and wants to connect with us  where He wants, and why He wants, because He loves us.  I'm glad I didn't miss Him today!

Forgetfulness

January 1, 2013             Forgetfulness

I hesitate to make resolutions at the beginning of the year, not because I don’t need to do better, but because I tend to forget what I resolved.  I’m not trying to be funny here; it is just true.

This year (actually in just a few days) I will be turning 59.  I can’t really wrap my mind around this fact, because I don’t know where the years went.  I remember being a little girl, becoming a teenager, graduating from high school and college, getting married, having our son, and standing beside his baby bed as he slept and saying aloud to him, “Don’t grow up too fast.”  He turns 30 in January!

Getting older has its advantages and disadvantages; this is also true of forgetfulness.  It seems that daily “my forgetter gets better,” as my daddy said as he got older.  I frequently forget where I left my glasses, where I last had my phone, or why I walked into a different room.  I can remember events from my childhood, but I don’t remember if I turned off my curling brush just a few minutes ago.

As I look back over the past year, I remember much that was difficult and painful.  Life is like that.  Sickness and death touched my family more than once during 2012.  These days will not be forgotten easily.  Yet, there were also great times of healing, and hope, and happiness that I want to remember.  In addition, last year brought times of hurt and rejection and discouragement, some of which came from people for whom I care deeply. 

I think that forgetfulness may sometimes need to be a deliberate choice.  The Apostle Paul said it this way in Philippians 3:13-16:

“I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.”

I have studied the concept of “forget” for a long time.  The pairing of forgetting and forgiving has especially given me times of agony.  After all, women never forget some things!  Years ago I read a definition of forgiveness that has helped me with this struggle. It said something like this. “Forgiveness is not pretending like something did not happen; it is remembering that it happened, but choosing not to let it hurt you again.”

So, my choice and goal for 2013 will be to forget-- forget the hurts and those who caused them; forget to let the past continue to hurt me.  Instead, I will press harder to be more loving, more forgiving, and to be more like Christ.  When I fail, and I know I will, I hope others will forget and be forgiving toward me.